Dear EFT Community,
Peak Performance coach Paul Zelizer emphasizes the use of tail-enders, the negative emotional attachments we often put on an EFT affirmation, as a way to discover core issues when tapping with EFT.
- EFT Universe
By Paul Zelizer, MA
In my practice, I've been contacted by people who have heard of EFT and tried it on themselves without success.
These clients have read about the importance of finding the core issue and have tapped on many things that they think might be underneath their symptoms. However, for some of these folks, tapping just hasn't worked.
In my experience, finding the core issue is more of an intuitive process (right brain) than a "figure it out" (left brain) process.
One way I often do this is with a process I call the using the Tail-ender Technique. In EFT, a tail-ender is considered to be the usually hidden and unconscious part of an affirmation, the hidden "Yeah but ..." part of something we want to be true.
To show you how this works, I'll share the case of "Jenny," a client who came to me for help with her money issues.
At the same time, please keep in mind that you can use this approach for just about anything. For instance, I used this tool in a session with a client struggling with MCS (multiple chemical sensitivities) just the other day.
Jenny moved to a new city and was excited about starting a holistic health practice. However, she underestimated the cost of living in this new city as well as the time it would take to build a successful practice in a new place.
When we first met, Jenny was very stressed out about money. She had gone through most of her savings, she had only a few clients, her health was declining and she was starting to lose sleep.
While EFT made sense in theory to Jenny, she had no idea of how she could use it to help with her money issues. Over the course of several sessions, I taught Jenny to use the Tail-ender Technique.
First, I had Jenny decide on a statement that she would like to be true. In one session, she decided on "I easily earn $50,000 per year."
Next, I had Jenny get in a comfortable position and prepared her to listen to messages that were about to come. In the counseling world, the messages that we tell ourselves are often called "self-talk".
Next, Jenny said aloud, "I easily earn $50,000 per year."
Then, both Jenny and I remained quiet for about a minute while she listened to her own self-talk (tailenders).
What Jenny reported is that two messages were very clear. The first was "YEAH, RIGHT!" and the second was "That's not a reality for me." In EFT language, Jenny now had a very clear idea of what to tap on: her "YEAH, RIGHT!" and "That's not a reality for me" tail-enders.
We tapped with Setup Statements:
Even though there's a part of me that thinks "YEAH, RIGHT!!" I deeply and completely accept myself.
Even though I know that $50,000 is not a reality for me, I deeply and completely accept myself.
Even though part of knows that $50,000 is not a reality for me, another part is curious what it would be like to easily earn $50,000 a year, as I deeply and completely accept myself.
Even though one part of me highly doubts I can easily earn $50,000 (YEAH, RIGHT!!), another part of chooses to explore what it would be like to earn $50,000 a year easily as I deeply and completely accept myself.
Over the course of several months, Jenny has seen some big improvements. She found a part-time job in her field that pays well, has flexible hours, values her holistic skills, and allows her to continue to market her own practice. She is sleeping better and is less stressed overall. While Jenny says she has a long way to go, she now feels more clear how to use EFT for money issues and has a better idea of what to tap on.
One session wonders are rare when using EFT for money issues. It takes time, persistence and good detective work. Using the Tail-ender Technique can be a big help in the good detective work department to help you uncover any emotional resistance to your success and bring it out into the light of day to heal with EFT.