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The Emotional Imprint of a Cousin’s Untimely Death

Dear Readers,

Nola Welling used EFT to free herself from grief, anger and guilt that had been affecting her for nearly 3 decades after the death of a cousin. Email Nola

-David Mackay


by Nola Welling

I wanted to share with you a life changing experience I had with EFT (one of the many).

When I was 13 my cousin died of an asthma attack. We were very close but my family had moved away from hers about a year before and so we hadn’t seen each other for a while. The last time I saw her we went to the Rocky Horror Picture Show stage play. I had just got a new jacket and she asked to wear it but I said no I wanted to. I was told she had died while I was on a school trip by the Woodwork teacher. My parents decided to leave me on the school trip, they thought it was better that I didn’t go to the funeral. So the next day while I grieved for her loss we were taken to an aluminium smelter and abbatoir. At that time I lived in a rural community of mostly farming which is why we were doing these activities.

Even though this event happened 28 years ago, I would only need to think of Anne and I would meltdown. The grief would be nearly as strong as it was when she died. I decided to do some EFT because I knew there were a lot of layers to that event and I couldn’t think of her without intense sadness.

So I tapped first on not being able to say goodbye because I knew this was a huge part of the issue. Next I tapped on being abandoned and not supported by my parents. I really struggled to understand how they thought leaving me on my own to deal with a situation like that was the right thing to do. However I kept tapping on it and the anger has subsided (not completely gone).

Lastly I tapped on my guilt for not letting her wear the jacket and something really interesting came up. The phrase it’s ok for me to want to look good.

I have always hated shopping and would wear everything out before I’d get something new. I never put effort into making myself look nice and going shopping just for enjoyment was a totally alien concept. After this tapping session I went out and shopped spontaneously and bought myself more new things in that one go than I had for the previous two years, this was a major step for me.

However in the end the biggest gift is that now when I think of Anne I don’t feel a never ending stream of grief. Instead I hear her laugh, see her smiling face and hear us laughing and playing together as we did when we were children.

Thanks so much, I am really grateful for EFT and to you for bringing it out into the world in the way you have.

Lots of hugs!

Nola Welling