By Carey Mann
Peter came to me two weeks after his girlfriend broke up with him. He felt angry and confused as to why she left as he thought that they would be together forever.
He wasn't eating or sleeping and was obsessed with getting her back.
However, he wasn't taking any responsibility for himself and his actions.
We began tapping on:
Even though I'm angry because she left me, I deeply and completely accept myself.
Even though I don't understand why she left me, I deeply and completely accept myself.
I'm angry because she left me
I don't understand why she's gone
I was a perfect partner
I did nothing to attract his break-up
I appreciated her
It's all her fault
It's not down to me
She was perfectly happy
She said that she loved me
At this point I ask if the above statements are TRUE and he begins to break down, his anger quickly shifts in to sadness. I ask him to put his hand on his heart and focus on breathing in and out of the heart. Breathing in whilst counting to 5 and breathing out whilst counting to 5.
This quickly brings his level of intensity down from 9 out of 10 to a 4 and the feeling is in his heart.
I ask if the feeling has a shape or a color and if so what would it be and he says it is like a small pen-knife.
Even though I have this small pen-knife in my heart, I deeply and completely accept myself.
We do a full round on this pen-knife in my heart and his level of intensity goes down to a 0 out of 10. I then ask him who put the knife there and he explained that he put it there a few minutes ago when he realized that he spent 4 years in a relationship, rarely ever telling her or showing her how much he loved her knowing that that was exactly what she had wanted and needed.
We tapped on:
Even though, I didn't tell her how much I loved her, I deeply and completely accept myself.
Even though, I didn't show her how much I loved her in the way that she needed... I choose to remember that is not who I am, it's just who I chose to be at the time.
I choose to feel confident that I can resolve this conflict.
It feels good knowing that I can resolve this conflict.
I give myself permission to feel loving and express myself freely.
I give myself permission to remember who I really am.
I give every cell in my body permission to express my love with touch ...and express my love with words.
I give myself permission to feel comfortable with who I choose to be.
He then tells me that his father didn't express his love through touch or speech and that he was repeating the patterns of his father.
We tapped on:
Even though my dad showed love with gifts and gestures, he was doing the best he could and I love and accept myself and forgive him anyway.
Even though I'm repeating the patterns of my dad...
Even though my dad was visual and not kinesthetic and auditory, I deeply and completely accept myself, and forgive him anyway.
I asked Peter to close his eyes and look at himself as a little boy. He said that the little boy looked sad. So I asked him to have a chat with the little boy and perhaps cuddle him and give him the type of love that he had yearned for when he was young.
I also asked him if it was possible to bring his dad in to the picture and for all three of them to have a chat and find some resolution.
After several minutes he opened his eyes and smiled.
He said that his dad said, "It's too late for me but you can show and give love in ways that I never could."
We worked together for a further 5 sessions and Peter and his girlfriend are now back together, living their dream of a blissful and fully functional relationship, thanks to EFT.