Frustrated with EFT

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8 years 2 months ago #5967 by EPPAdmin
Frustrated with EFT was created by EPPAdmin
I’m getting very frustrated with EFT. Reading all the stories about “one minute wonders” is depressing when after many attempts of trying it on my own nothing happens. I could tap on “Even though I’m upset that my husband doesn’t want to spend this weekend with my family I completely accept myself”, “Even though I’m sad and mad because my husband doesn’t like my family I completely accept myself” and maybe I’ll feel better. I don’t know. It’s hard to tell even with the SUD because it always feels like it’s always at least a 1 or maybe a 3 or maybe I’m feeling something else. It’s hard to tell. Then when that feeling shoots up again a few hours later I feel sad because I’m back at square one wondering if I’m wasting my time.

I know that the EFT guides talk about being persistent but I feel that I’ll be dead by the time I figure out what thought or event is causing the pain in my arms. I have tried three professional EFT sessions only to feel the same afterwards. I also can’t afford to pay over one hundred dollars per hour for several weeks for something that isn’t helping. It’s frustrating because EFT is supposed to be an effective free technique but I’ve yet to experience anything in which I could say without a doubt, “Yes, EFT definitely worked on this particular issue”

Before this I was meditating regularly and when I spoke to an EFT practitioner that I eventually had an appointment with she discouraged mediation in favor of EFT stating, “meditation is like riding a bicycle to where you’re going, EFT is like driving a car.” That does me no good if the bicycle works fine and the car won’t start because unbeknownst to me it’s missing the battery. So I’m back on the meditation bicycle and still trying to figure out why my EFT car won’t start.

Does anyone else feel this way or felt this way and finally had their a-ha moment?
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8 years 2 months ago #5968 by EPPAdmin
Replied by EPPAdmin on topic Frustrated with EFT
Larianis,
Hello.
EFT is like any other tool we have in our mental tool box, we have to use it and determine if it works for us. In reading your post, several things popped out to me.
1. Only you know what is right for you, if meditation works for you, continue to use it. I meditate and use eft, often I will use EFT as part of my meditation. I find issues sometimes keep me from getting the most from meditation so I do EFT on the issues and then meditate.
2. EFT is effective IMHO. However I believe each of us needs to demonstrate it's effectiveness to ourselves. So maybe try it on something else first to "test the waters" so to speak. Something small. And after you have gained some confidence that EFT works for you, then tackle larger issues.
3. Relationship issues can be very difficult, especially when one partner is working on improving the relationship and the other is not. (This was my issue.) But I found that getting upset with my partner over her lack of doing what I thought she should do was only making things worse. EFT again is just a tool, but keep in mind with a complex thing like relationships - an issue or event or whatever can have different and multiple "aspects" to it. In other words, resolving Aspect #1 with EFT, makes room for Aspect #2 to show up, it could the same intensity as Aspect #1 so it seems like nothing has happened but in reality Aspect #1 was at Zero.
Getting Gary Craigs books or reading some of the materials on this website might be very helpful. I would also suggest going to www.youtube.com and searching on EFT.
Good Luck
RichK
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  • MLuck
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8 years 1 week ago #6023 by MLuck
Replied by MLuck on topic Frustrated with EFT
I can understand your frustration. You can tap all day on the emotions that come up in the situation you describe without addressing the underlying issue of wanting your husband to change so you will be happy. Even though my husband has to change before I can be happy...and I'd get creative with the rest of it.
Manfred

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  • Asbjorn Simonsen
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8 years 6 days ago #6024 by Asbjorn Simonsen
Replied by Asbjorn Simonsen on topic Frustrated with EFT
Continue practising meditation by all means - and maybe you should find another more experienced EFT-practitioner.

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7 years 11 months ago #6029 by KChristopher
Replied by KChristopher on topic Frustrated with EFT
Have been practicing EFT full time over 6 years and am certified by EFTU, Gary Craig & AAMET & also am a trainer, so have some experience. EFT works very well. The main reason EFT doesn't seem to work for people is that their target is too large. Gary Craig talks a LOT about being SPECIFIC. The easiest way to do this is to select something that occurred in a moment in time. “Even though I’m upset that my husband doesn’t want to spend this weekend with my family I completely accept myself” is quite large in comparison to what I am talking about here. “Even though I’m sad and mad because my husband doesn’t like my family I completely accept myself” is also very large or very "global".

Relationships with family members ARE global by their nature and so you have to break them down into smaller segments. You might try something like "Even though last night my husband said, "I don't want to visit your family at Christmas" I deeply and completely accept myself". And then ONLY think about that ONE statement as you tap. Stay focused on it, not on all the other times he's said something similar. You will find there are layers of feelings / aspects to that one statement and you are better off collapsing the negative emotions regarding that one moment in time. That one moment in time is something you can get to zero about whereas trying to collapse a global issue is much less likely to be successful. When you collapse a specific it will have a global effect. That is how you get to the global issues---through specifics.

To learn more you might attend a Level 1 training taught by a qualified trainer. You can learn more about specifics there. Or, study Gary Craig's material. Or, work with a skilled and experienced practitioner who can guide you about this.

BTW, would not suggest you give up meditation entirely if it was working for you. In my experience EFT and meditation have some things in common, but that doesn't necessarily mean a person should give up meditation. Maybe, but maybe not. Depends on the person and what they need / what works best for them. You would most likely be the best judge of that.

Wishing you all the best! Kay
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  • Aquar1us
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5 years 11 months ago - 5 years 11 months ago #6127 by Aquar1us
Replied by Aquar1us on topic Frustrated with EFT
it looks as if your family upset him somehow - or you could say he is emotionally allergic to them - or to something about the situation's atmosphere. Such a thing is EFTable with remote tapping. And it actually works - this tapper has calmed babies on public transport and planes several times!
You essentially tell your mind that your energy system is a stand-in for someone else's - and tap away (you can tap in your imagination). It's a kind of changing others by changing yourself.
Consider also this: it may not be so much about him disliking spending time with your family, as him wanting to spend it somehow else - with colleagues, friends, the winter elementals... or you!
surrogate tap tappity tap! and it will come to the surface!
PS: Meditation and EFT are like apples and oranges! It's great to have both!
Last edit: 5 years 11 months ago by Aquar1us.

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