Dear EFT Community,
- Courtney A.
By Aileen Nobles
When Greta had her first appointment she was feeling stuck, depressed, and didn’t really want to live. She was now 70 years of age and felt disappointed and betrayed by life. She felt as if she was not following her spiritual path and could not feel joy.
We talked about who had betrayed and disappointed her the most in life, and she mentioned her mother.
When she was much younger, Greta had been accepted to medical school and was planning on becoming a doctor. One day during her first year, she had a phone call from her mother, telling Greta she had been diagnosed with an incurable illness, and needed her to come home and take care of her … which she did. Eventually, it turned out that her mother had lied about her illness, but by then Greta had lost her motivation… she never went back to Medical school … she felt angry, disappointed and betrayed.
Nowadays Greta looked after her grandson five days a week. She had promised her daughter she would babysit for 3 years allowing her daughter to get her degree. Even though she was not sorry she made the commitment, she felt very trapped.
We discussed the feeling that her life was on hold, and she needed more time for herself, bringing up the possibility of babysitting three days a week instead of five, and, perhaps going back to school. She sighed deeply and said she couldn’t get excited about the thought as she was too tired.
Greta mentioned that she had almost earned her Ph.D, when low and behold, her husband became very ill. She dropped out of school to look after him and never finished her degree. Once again, she lost her desire to do it. It seemed to her that whenever she was doing something dear to her heart someone would spoil it.
This pattern she had attracted of people and circumstances thwarting her dreams had a core issue somewhere. I asked her: “When you were young, did you ever feel as if you were a rising star and some one pulled the rug out from under your feet?”
Greta said: “I never told anyone,” she promptly dissolved into convulsive sobbing and couldn’t speak. I tapped on her, and said the words.
“ I can’t talk about it.”
“Even though I cant even talk about this, I want to love and accept myself anyway.”
“Its buried deep inside.”
The sobbing continued.
“Even though I have never told anyone…just thinking about this makes me cry.”
She started to repeat my words.
“Even though I have never confided in anyone, I know talking about it will help me release this, and heal from it and move forward.”
The story unfolded. Her family had been interned in a concentration camp, and had survived that horror, but when she was thirteen her father started molesting her. Not intercourse, but he would expose himself while fondling her.
Up until that time she had dreams of being on stage and had been very innocent and full of hope.
She said she felt differently from then on. The intensity of this first memory was a 10.
As she recounted the story she remembered during the night she would wake up with him kissing her breasts, and she would fight him off quietly, as her sister was also sleeping in the room. She didn’t want her sister to know what their father was doing as she was her sister’s protector.
She had never felt free since that time.
We continued tapping:
“Even though I had this father from hell when I was a teen, I was so innocent, and would love to love and accept myself anyway.
He was mentally unstable, but look what he went through during the holocaust, he did what he needed to do to survive.
But what he did was not right, and he damaged me but I really want to accept myself anyway.
I have this terrible memory of my father sexually abusing me.
I remember it clearly, its stayed with me all of these years.
As if it wasn’t bad enough when he did it I’m still carrying it with me but that doesn’t make much sense, its not helping me in any way, it fact its hindering me.
Its so etched in my mind in subconscious and on a cellular level.
I would like to detach from the emotions connected with it.”
We did a round tapping on “detaching.”
“Its true it happened, but I don’t want it to continue to affect me.
Doesn’t benefit me to hold on to these emotions.
He never apologized, but he was damaged, and I allowed him to damage me, but I don’t have to stay this way.
I can release this trauma.
Its true it happened but I’m detaching from the horror.
I don’t have to feel it any longer, I can release it.
She took three deep breaths.
It’s not affecting me so much any more, it’s over now.
I was so vulnerable and ready for a new life, and then it got polluted by my father and my life was never the same again.”
I had her run a movie in her imagination as she continued to tap.
Its like a movie now in black and white, very old fashioned but not useful.
She was now able to run the movie with no intensity remaining.
We worked on other memories and situations diffusing each one.
We then worked on forgiveness of her father.
Next we worked on anger at her mother for bringing her back from medical school under false pretenses. That took about 10 minutes.
Then we worked on forgiving her husband for becoming sick and interrupting her getting her PhD.
“Even though I gave up after the last disappointment with my husband …
I’m free now, no one is going to pull the rug out from under my feet any more.
Its safe for me to be successful and follow my heart and soul.
I’m free to go back to school and finish my PhD.
I’m free to fly.
Greta has decided to babysit less and is looking forward to completing her degree. She finally has an enthusiasm for living that had been missing most of her life.
Thanks to EFT we can pursue our dreams no matter what age we are.