Addressing Relationship Issues by Tapping on Photographs
By M. Holiday
I have been using EFT with the use of photographs for a little while now in some cases and wanted to share my experiences.
When working on "relationship issues" such as divorce, family fights, disagreements, arguments, break ups, long standing feuds, etc.
I have found that some of the really deep issues are too painful for the person to deal with, or they become long term issues from silly arguments or careless words.
I discovered that when using a photograph of the person to which the emotional issue is connected and then tapping on the photograph, that there appears to be a massive shift that sometimes occurs very quickly.
Here are a couple of examples of this Photo Technique. I discovered this totally by chance, following an argument with my partner.
I started tapping:
"Even though I think I may hate you (my partner) at this moment and that is painful, I really do love you ... and I completely love and accept myself and accept you."
Whilst tapping, I saw a photograph of us both sitting on camels which was a very happy and funny scene.
I picked the photograph up and sat with it on my knee.
I then tapped on my partner physically on the photograph.
I started on the PR point first on myself with the set up statement, three times
"Even though we have had this argument and I feel as if I hate you, I know I love you and I deeply and completely love and accept myself."
I then moved to the photograph and tapped around the points physically on the photo stating "this hate feeling."
I then worked on the same photograph but this time on myself, tapping on the photo with phrases such as "emanating love to you" (emanating love to my partner).
I then tapped on each of us individually on the photograph stating "emanating love to each other."
I did this several times really quickly and had massive releases.
I know relief would be given by applying EFT to yourself. However I think the visual tapping action of looking at the person on the photograph and tapping on it seemed very powerful and worked very quickly. Interestingly, as I finished tapping on the photograph, my partner rang and apologised; coincidence possibly but fascinating.
Many ex pat clients in Spain have loved ones in UK and bring their problems with them, thinking they will have left them behind and all will be well here. However, many of them actually have more time on their hands and more time to think.
The photograph method seems to help with relationship issues because they may not have seen the person for some time whether it be family or friend that they have an issue with. Sometimes they are going back to UK and have to face the problem again ... thinking they may have escaped it.
So since stumbling across this method by accident, I have introduced it with certain clients and will be introducing it more because of the very quick results and "shifts" when they are actually "seeing" the photograph of the person.
I had a client recently with family problems that were starting to make her feel unwell--anxiety, palpations. She was constantly thinking about the family problems.
She had several arguments with her brother which she felt was his fault and they had not been speaking for some time. She felt he had "let her down" when she needed him most, during the recent loss of her husband.
She had talked to her mum about this and seemed to have very little support or interest from her mum.
The common theme seemed to be "loss."
I asked her to bring a photo of her mum and brother.
The client brought a photo of her brother and mum smiling away together on a happy family occasion.
We started on the PR point and the set up was quite in depth:
"Even though I seem to have this "loss problem", I lost my husband when he passed over, I lost my brother and he won't talk to me, I feel a loss of support from my mum ... I feel a terrible loss, I feel lonely but through all this I deeply and completely love and accept myself."
I asked her to tap on the photograph of her brother first stating "this loss."
I asked her to say anything that came into her head whilst she was tapping on the photo.
She tapped several times on "this loss" and changed it herself to "I have lost you, like I lost my husband", "I feel lonely because I have lost you."
Her intensity came down to 5.
She started sobbing very heavily and I asked her to just sit and I tapped on her until she stopped crying and settled.
She felt OK to continue and we moved on to her mum in the photograph with "no support".
She did this several times and phrases came up such as "I have never had much support from you all my life."
Again, she started sobbing and I took over and tapped on her until the tears subsided.
I then continued tapping around her points continuously on phrases she had used and also on forgiveness.
At the end of a very lenghty session, her intensity level was down to "0".
I brought the photo back and asked her how she felt about them both ... she started crying. On further probing, the photo was taken on a family occasion that she could not attend and she felt "the loss" again of being left out. Intensity level of 4. We tapped on this family occasion of "being left out." She hated th photo so much, she wanted to burn it.
She eventually went to "0" again and was very comfortable looking at the photo.
She commented that "they had their lives to lead and she had to get on with her own life." She said she felt very calm and could look at the photo of them both in a "kinder light" and without anguish or remorse.
We ended with a lengthy tapping session, working on:
"Even though I have had so much loss in my life, I am left with a void that I need to fill with love. If I take this "loss" feeling away I have another loss to deal with ... what will replace it? This loss has taken up a great deal of my time, thoughts and efforts and is making me feel ill ... I choose to fill it with love, I choose to fill this loss feeling with love .... love for my brother ... my mother .... but most of all love for me."
I spoke to her a week later and she was delighted. She had actually phoned her brother up (they had not spoken for six months) and asked if she could visit him when she came over to UK and he said he would like that and she was welcome to stay with him.
I teach all my clients EFT and she also commented that she had used the photo technique with her son. They had a silly disagreement and her son had stormed off out of the house without speaking. She felt "loss" again. She took a photo frame from the window and tapped on a photograph of him about how she felt using"silly argument" and within minutes felt great, just like a massive weight had lifted.
She commented that she would have worried all day and been upset but after tapping on the photo, got on with her day as normal.
I suggest to clients to work through their Personal Peace Procedure by getting a really nice book that they keep as their private journal. Then hunt through family photos and choose some to place in their journal. Placing photos in of themselves at different stages and ages, and also of family, friends, scenes that bring up memories.
Then tap on the photo or particular painful memory/incident as it comes up.
I explain this is also a great way for them to review their feelings/emotions when looking through their journal and photographs ... if something comes up again or is still painful, try tapping again.