EFT and the Drawing the Conflict Method
Ilana Weiler from Israel reveals her "Drawing the Conflict" method for getting in touch with the subconscious when working with EFT to help clients describe their relationships with a presenting conflict .
By Ilana Weiler
Sometimes, there is a need to add some creativity to the EFT tapping process, in order to allow additional access to one's "hard-disk." As we are all such sophisticated creatures we have some amazing ways to store information and memories. Getting in touch with the subconscious contributes valuable details and "links" to one's own self-talk. By using NLP, guided imagery, open questions, etc., we can upgrade our work.
I call this technique "Drawing the Conflict."
Using oil coloring pencils is in favor as they are soft, child-like pencils, not threatening. Drawing the conflict means describing one's relationships with the conflict.
For example: One of my clients, I will call her Rachel, was dealing with her complicated relationships with her very demanding overruling mother. When she drew her conflict, she drew herself as a bunch of flowers in the center, surrounded with a black belt-like shape. The black belt was all around, and at some parts was covering the flowers.
She said that when she looked at the picture she felt constricted in her throat at a level of intensity of 8 on a scale of 0 to 10.
While looking at the drawing, we tapped:
Even though, I feel constriction in my throat when I look at this drawing, I accept myself with love ... I can feel it in my throat, and I accept myself anyway ... This constriction is an 8, and I accept it.
Then I asked her to finish this sentence: When I look at this drawing, I feel constricted because...
Rachel replied, "Because she is choking me."
Even though she is choking me...
Even though she is choking me, and this causes constriction in my throat, I accept who I am.
Even though I feel this constriction when I look at this drawing, because she is choking me...
EB-she is choking me.
UE-it is in my throat
CH-when I look at this drawing
CB-I am choking
UN-I can see it
UA-she is constricting me.
Now her level of intensity felt like a 6 on the scale of 0 to 10.
Even though it feels like a black belt around me, around my flowers, I deeply and profoundly love and accept my flowers.
Even though, this black belt is constricting me from flowering...
Even though, this black belt is choking me...
EB-this black belt
SE-around my flowers
CH-my flowers are constricted
CB-this black belt
We took a deep breath and Rachel said that the belt felt less dark now - more like dark blue and that it was just around a part of her. She felt that it was preventing her from freely expressing herself around her throat chakra.
Even though, it feels like a dark blue belt around some parts of me...
Even though this belt prevents me from freely expressing myself in her presence...
Even though, this dark blue belt, constricts my ability to express myself, I choose to allow myself to feel free.
EB-it is not all around me.
SE-it surrounds just some parts of me
UE-dark blue belt
UN-limiting my expression
CH-my flowers are choked
CB-some parts of me are free
UN-dark blue belt
Rachel said, "You know, she is not all bad. I can see that some part of the belt, is made of flowers." I asked her to change the belt, that now looked half "belt" / half flowers. The constriction in the throat dropped to 0 out of 10. I asked how she felt now looking at the drawing. Rachel said, "I feel sad. She is not aware. She has good intentions, but she doesn't know how to express herself."
See the change that happened - a wonderful cognitive shift. When we experience an emotional freedom the whole picture changes.
I asked her to tune into where she felt the sadness and she said it was in her heart and the level of intensity was 6 out of 10.
Even though I feel sadness in my heart, because... Rachel filled in: ...because we should do better. It is a waste. We both have good intentions...
Even though, we both have good intentions , it still feels sad, because...Rachel filled in: ...because we are captured in this dynamic, in this pattern, and it is sad.
Even though I feel sadness in my heart, because we are captured in this pattern, I accept this sadness.
Rachel said, "Yes, I accept this sadness, it shows I care and it shows I wish it was different."
Even though I feel sadness in my heart I accept this sadness.
Even though we are captured in this pattern, and it makes me sad...
Even though, this pattern makes me sad...
SE-in my heart
UE-we are captured
UN-it is sad
CH-sadness in my heart
CB-sadness of this pattern
UN-this sad pattern
UA-this sad belt.
I chose to lead her through the full version of EFT, tapping all fingers and the 9 Gamut. This is a good opportunity for the client to be in touch with her feelings, quiet, non verbal while tapping the Gamut. I added moving the eyes up and down a few times. Rachel had tears, a deep exhale, silence and a smile. And looked at her drawing, saying, "I would draw it differently now."
Rachel drew herself again, as flowers in the center, and her mother, or better said the "conflict" as a blue stripe, some of it with flowers AT HER SIDE. This was an amazing change.(I almost cried myself.).
"How do you feel now, looking at the drawing?" I asked. Rachel said, "I feel hope. I feel mature. I can take responsibility."
The actual result of this session was an email I received from her, which I will translate for you all (as I guess Hebrew is not even your second language.)
Dear Ilana, I want to thank you for this beautiful session I had. It felt so gentle and friendly, yet profound. Yesterday, for the first time, I was able to share with my mother the fact that I was in therapy. I was able to say that with serenity and pride. I felt I am privileged and was able to get in touch with those flowers. To be honest with you, I had a feeling she was thinking: "Oh, I wish I would also be in therapy" As you know, this is all a miracle. Thank you again. EFT has brought light into some of my darkest corners .Thank you again. Looking forward to our next session. Rachel