EFT and the Inner Committee
What is the inner committee?
I am on a diet, I'm walking past the baker and I smell the delightful smell of bread baking, and I look in the window and notice the cream doughnuts. I love cream doughnuts! The smell of baking bread is making my mouth water.
I hear a voice in my head that says "Wouldn't you just love a doughnut? Just one? Then, I hear another voice or thought "You can't do that, you will never lose the weight that you really want to this week". You will never be able to fit in to that new dress or suit!
You pause, consider (sometimes not) and you make a choice whether to go into the baker shop or not. So, I choose to go into the baker shop and purchase the doughnut. I find a nice park bench and happily munch my doughnut and while I am doing that I hear "You are a bad girl/boy - you will never lose weight if you carry on like this". 2nd voice - "But I hate depriving myself. When I deprive myself I feel as if I am losing out on life". "You have no discipline, you are weak, and you will never lose this excess weight". "I am feeling guilty". "So you should"!
Get the picture?
We have a constant dialogue going on in our heads during our waking hours.
"Shall I, shan't I?" So, unless we are doing what we really want to do we are constantly in conflict, constantly arguing with ourselves. Can you imagine the amount of wasted energy that this inner dialogue takes up in our lives?
Look around you, what do you notice about the body language of those around you? What do you notice about the language, the words they use? Now, notice your own language. What is your inner committee saying?
What is your body telling you? Your body will not lie to you, but your intelligence will tell you all kinds of stories and you can get “lost” in your stories. Candace Pert who wrote “Molecules of Emotion” speaks of our addiction to negative emotions.
What if there was a simple, fun way of discovering your stories and having dialogue with your Inner Committee? Instead of trying to push those members of your committee away or ignore them, (or deny them), how much more healthy to use EFT and lovingly integrate your committee as part of who you really are.
4 Steps to discovering your inner committee and the language they use.
1. Sit quietly with a pen and paper. Drop into stillness. Have a large blank piece of paper ready to work with. You might like to use coloured pens to make the identification easier.
2. Draw a small circle in the middle of your paper. Give the circle 2 eyes a nose and a mouth. Is it a smiley mouth or a sad mouth? Just do it without thinking too much. Write "me" in the middle of the circle. You might want to give "me" hair, a nose, eyes and a pair of ears just for fun! We are creating a mind map. Yours!
3. Now, begin to listen to those inner thoughts that rise as soon as you allow yourself to become quiet.
4. "This is ridiculous; I haven't got time for this". This is ridiculous! Draw a line from the circle to the outside of the paper as close or far as you wish. At the end of the line think of a name you would like to call this thought.
"Ah! So, this is Mr/Mrs/Miss/Master Ridiculous? "
Write Mr Ridiculous at the end of the line. You might want to draw what he might look like, Use your imagination to see what expression he has on his face. What is he wearing? What kind of clothes might he wear? How might he walk? (Write it down) What feelings does he generate in you? Where are they in your body?
"Well, Mr Ridiculous, why are you bringing yourself to my attention?" (our inner committee want our attention).
"What do you wish to tell me?"
Mr Ridiculous: " Well, this is so stupid, this is time wasting, we should just be getting on with our work".
Me: "What work"?
Mr Ridiculous: "The work we have always done. I don't want to try anything new. Something might happen. I don't want to change. I am afraid of change. It is not safe to change".
Another thought enters: "Now, now, don't panic. We don't have to do this all at the same time".
Draw a line from the face of ME, outwards and you might like to name the thought - Mrs/Mr/Grandpa Reassuring.
ME: "So, Mrs reassuring what are you bringing to my attention?"
Mrs Reassuring: "Well, Mr Ridiculous is only being argumentative because he is very nervous of change - I can re-assure him"
"Good. Do you want to give it a try?"
Mrs. Reassuring: "Well, Mr Ridiculous, if you just stop all your negative chatter for a moment and take a look at the possible benefits of doing work that ME really likes, how do you think it might feel? "
"How do you think it would feel if ME could earn good money, enough to help us feel secure for the rest of our lives without having to struggle all the time, because ME loves the work so much?"
Mr. Ridiculous: "Bah! You have all gone mad! It is totally ridiculous to think that anyone can have their cake and eat it! Besides, we can't afford it!"
Enter Mr Inspiration: "Hmmm I have been listening patiently to you all and I have a suggestion. Why don't you invite all the members of the committee to the outside of ME and have a proper meeting? Rather like a board meeting you know?"
Draw another line from the face of ME out as far as you wish. Name the thought Mr Inspiration. What does his face look like? What is he wearing?
How does he walk?
If you are following this exercise, you should now have 3 members of your inner committee on the outside and you are getting to know them and what they have to say to you quite well!
Just listen quietly to the dialogue and notice what is being said at the committee meeting which you have called, which you are a witness to.
You might end up with 7 or 8 members of your committee all wanting to have something to say to you. Name them all. Get to know them intimately. Be aware of the purpose behind each thought. These are the negative thoughts that we all carry with us through out our lives. How much better would it serve you to acknowledge your inner committee rather than ignore it?
What might it be like to be able to talk about our inner committee openly rather than pretending these thoughts do not exist. When we can bring these thoughts into reality and name them as part of who we are, we can learn so much more and have fun with it at the same time!
My Mr Ridiculous is telling me “People who read this will think it is all "ridiculous".
"Yes, but I have another member of my inner committee who is called Miss Outrageous and she just loves to say her piece. She has pink hair, with a matching pink rose, which she wears, cockily on the side of her head above her ear. She has a cheeky face with a ring in her nose and excitement in her voice and she says. "Just do it!"
So, here we are! My committee is exposed! What fun!
Somehow, it does not feel like an exposure but a sharing of part of me which also resides in you. Do you recognise yourself?
What might it be like for you to bring your inner committee out into the open?
Maybe, just for yourself, until you are more used to the idea?
The best thing about your inner committee is that all the parts of YOU now have a voice, and it is here that the deepest work and your tapping statements begin!
In my next article I will be giving you some tapping statements to reduce or even eliminate those members of your inner committee that are keeping you stuck!
As we become attentive to the personalities and conversations in our head, we can begin to recognise the limiting or negative thoughts and feelings easily, that cause us pain or keep us blocked!
It does require practice; but it is worth the effort.
When you have a picture or visual and have written down the details you can identify the uncomfortable feeling words and begin to tap on each, specific personality on your committee.
As the personality emerges, and you see the role they are playing in your life it becomes easier to tap away the bothersome feeling and beliefs that they generate.
Become aware of how those members of your committee are affecting your physiology.
Let us look at tapping phrases you could use:
You could start as soon as you get a reaction. It is important to learn to develop your awareness about how you are feeling during the day and in your interactions with people.
A reaction may be sight, sound, touch or smell as in the smell of baking bread, which would make your mouth water. (Thoughts create a physiological response).
Even though the smell of bread is making my mouth water, I love and accept myself
Even though I would love a doughnut, but it’s bad for me, I choose to know it may not be helpful to have one.
Even though I want to satisfy this craving I choose to know that I am in charge, not the craving.
I want that doughnut, it’s bad for me, I will put on weight, I can’t have it, doughnuts have consequences, and my mouth is watering.
Even though I will feel deprived if I didn’t have a doughnut I love and accept the part of me that feels deprived
Even though I just wanted a treat, hat good feeling of filling my empty space I choose to know I can treat myself in more healthy ways
Even though I will feel empty and I just want some comfort I love and accept myself anyway
I will feel deprived, I want to fill my empty spaces, I want some comfort, I can’t have a treat, this feeling of deprivation, this disappointment I can’t have a doughnut.
Even though part of me that does not want change love and accept Mr Ridiculous
Even though part of me is afraid of change, I choose to know that Mr Ridiculous is doing the best he can and so am I!
Even though change takes me out of my comfort zone and I feel afraid, I choose to see the learning in the change instead
He’s afraid of changing, afraid of changing, doesn’t want to come out of his comfort zone, too scared, don’t want to change, afraid of it
Even though it’s totally ridiculous to think I can have my cake and eat it, I love and accept myself, no matter what!
Even though I can’t have it all, Mr Ridiculous said so, I’m open to the possibility this may be an old belief that I inherited from Mum.
Even though Mr Ridiculous is keeping me stuck, I love and accept him; I thank him for keeping me safe from putting myself out there and I’d like to invite him not to work quite so hard. Maybe he could even work with me instead.
Even though I’m not allowed to have it all, I choose to know I’m in the process of learning how to do it.
Even though Mum said I couldn’t have it all I choose to know that it was Mum’s writing on her wall; she was doing the best she could at the time and so am I.
Even though I hold myself back because I don’t believe I can do it, I choose to invite Miss Outrageous to the party!
It is important to create some really strong, positive members of your committee so that you can draw on their individual strengths to support you on your journey to wholeness.
You may know that you have inner strength during a crisis, or that you are able to be very supportive with your friends when they are having problems. You may know that you have a unique talent or skill that is always there for you no matter what. Make sure those strong parts of you form a part of your committee and invite them to assist you and all the other members that make up your inner committee.
The most important thing with this technique is to play with it and have fun. You will be amazed at what you can clear!