A 3 Step Process to Monitor Progress with EFT
Dear EFT Community,
EFT Master, Gwyneth Moss, explains the third step in her three-step process of monitoring progress in EFT work. The three steps are Test, Rehearse, Reality. Read her article on Step 1. Read her article on Step 2.
By Gwyneth Moss, MA
Reality testing is step 3 in my three-step testing process: Test, Rehearse, Reality. The “End at the Start” test (Step 1) checks our work with EFT and Rehearsals build confidence (Step 2), so now having passed those tests it is time for step three which is Reality Testing. Steps 1 and 2 have prepared the way to now face the actual problem situation or person more resourcefully and we should also have flushed out any un-cleared aspects that would require further EFT.
We want EFT to be tearless and certainly our reality testing is not like exposure therapy where a person is taken to or beyond the limits of their fear. I don’t want anyone to try a reality test until they feel confident to do so without getting upset. We don’t want them simply to be able to cope with the problem - we want them to be completely free of the problem, able to think clearly and act resourcefully in previously distressing situations.
Also, as the therapist I would like to be confident that we have found and cleared all aspects of the old problem. The reason for this is because the power of reality is 20 times the power of imagination when it comes to pressing an old button or triggering a fear. You will have seen on EFT videos how a practitioner will persist in getting to 0, rather than letting it go at a 1 or 2. Why? Well, it's simple maths: when reality multiplies 1 by 20 we get 20, whereas multiplying 0 by 20 is still 0.
Sometimes the reality test is obvious and immediate:
- I have brought in a jam jar of spiders;
- or shut claustrophobics in the loo (bathroom)
- sent previous height phobics out onto the balcony
- handed the phone to previously tongue tied sales people to make a cold call
- and had a divorcing woman read the letters from her husband’s lawyer aloud.
Sometimes the test is less obvious and we can be searching for a solution. The easy way out is to ask the person sitting in front of you “how could you test this so that you can really know that the problem is a thing of the past?” They will know and asking that question already has the person taking their attention into places they have previously avoided at all costs. To respond they have to imagine themselves doing the test. I have had some delightful responses:
- I can call my sister’s answer phone and listen to her voice;
- I’m going to go to the pub and stand at the bar and speak to whoever is there;
- I can go to the rescue centre and give a puppy a home;
- I can smile at my boss and ask after his children;
- I can write a CV and place it on a recruitment site;
- I can walk down the road where I was mugged;
- When I get home I can knock on my neighbour’s door and tell her I am truly sorry;
- I can sit and do nothing but listen to the birdsong;
- I can leave the washing up in the sink until my husband does it.
Once they come up with the idea I ask them to focus on the thought of doing the test and to tell me what they notice in their body. If they tell me of a feeling of excitement, curiosity or they are simply neutral then I know we have been successful and they will complete the test. Then all I have to do is to make sure they have a plan for doing the test which has a commitment in time and not too much space for prevarication. If necessary I rehearse them in doing the reality test and if that brings up any doubt, anxiety or thoughts of avoidance then we tap for that. I ask them to e-mail me when they have done the test so that I can congratulate them.
I have had surprises. One ex-claustrophobic who was convinced that she would not be able to do her test of taking an elevator, called me from the top floor of a local building to cancel her next appointment shouting like an excited child “I’ve been up and down three times!”
So that is the three stage testing process and how do you remember? Well, that’s simple its Tapping, Test, Rehearse, Reality or T-T-R-R