Innovative “Solution Offering” Technique
By Figen Genco, BA
Always on the look for new combinations, approaches, and enhanced ways of using EFT, I created a new technique which I call “Solution Offering” Technique. It has been working great for me, and I wanted to share it with you all. And I think it is easier to use it on other people than ourselves because as human beings, we all are so good at giving advice to others!
You will see several examples of set up phrases with this technique in my series of articles called Organizing with EFT.
Here is how it works:
After the usual initial detective work, and doing one or two rounds of tapping on the challenge at hand at the moment, I add a sentence starting with “Maybe…..” at the end of the set up phrase.
For example: Jane has problems with her sister. She is upset that her sister is deliberately making her look bad in front of her family and friends. So initially using client’s words, we tap:
Even though Joanne makes me furious, I am open to the possibility of accepting myself . (This acceptance part of the sentence always depends on how comfortable and open the person is about accepting himself)
After the first round of tapping with the reminder phrase “furious”, I say:
Even though I think I am furious with Joanne, maybe I am actually angry with the way she acts, not with herself as a person. I love and forgive myself anyway.
They have no difficulty repeating this sentence because it honors their anger while taking the heat off of someone they actually love and care for; and that they feel guilty about being angry with.
So, this wording not only re-directs their anger, and brings awareness of separating the individual from the behavior; it also brings the relief from self-dislike and guilt for having negative feelings towards a family member, friend or someone close.
In the above example, this technique opens the first door to healing since now we, as the practitioners, have the opportunity to show the person that other people’s behaviors affect us only when … and how we react to it.
Thus the practitioner builds a bridge to lead the individual towards working on themselves, rather than feeling frustrated and hopeless with the thought of trying, and not being able to change others.
The practitioner can only come up with the “Offering Solutions” technique phrases after spending some time with the client. This solution phrase may come to the practitioner through guidance, experience, and intuition.
This technique enables the practitioner to get to the point without creating resistance and denial by just suggesting – with the word maybe - rather than stating what might be causing the challenge. What I observe is the surprise of “AHA” moments on the clients’ faces. And they follow the path easier and faster.
Even though I have this terrible headache, maybe I am trying to use my headache to hide my feelings about what is going on with my son. I accept myself and I thank my body for the message. Maybe if I can talk about my son a little, my headache might go away.
I love and forgive myself for having this agonizing shoulder pain. Maybe my body is symbolically telling me that I have the heavy load of carrying my parents (person is in charge of parents care without much help). Maybe if I didn’t feel guilty about feeling this way, my shoulders wouldn’t hurt. I accept myself for not being able to talk about it.