When you state your affirmations clearly, in the present tense, with high emotion, in vivid detail, what happens? Say “I effortlessly maintain my goal weight” or “I manifest financial abundance” or any other affirmation you’re working with and notice what pops up in your mind right after the affirmation. This is the tail-ender. It is a negative and limiting statement that counteracts the affirmation.
For instance, you say, “I effortlessly maintain my goal weight” and a little voice whispers in your ear, “…in your dreams.” Examples of tail-enders are:
That’s a laugh.
Who are you trying to fool?
Like you’ve never done before?
Are you kidding?
No way, Jose.
Don’t be ridiculous.
The tail-ender is the true affirmation, not the statement you’ve just made. The tail-ender rings much more true in your consciousness. It has much more emotional power than the positive statement. Since the tail-ender represents your true belief, that’s what you’ll manifest.
That’s why after the first rush of enthusiasm for affirmations in the 1970s, people discovered that they didn’t work as planned. They would say their affirmations daily and fervently, imagine them vividly, and then manifest the opposite. Paradoxically, this is a demonstration that affirmations can actually work, since the tail-ender, which is the real affirmation, comes true.
In EFT, we turn this to our advantage. Say your affirmations and locate your tail-enders. Write them down and then tune in to your body as you say them out loud. That tail-ender is usually the result of limiting core beliefs and writings on your walls. You can find the childhood events that gave rise to the tail-ender and tap on them till the SUD level goes down.
Once your VOC (Validity of Cognition) level for the affirmation is high (i.e., the statement rings true) and your VOC level for the tail-ender is low, then your affirmations have real power.