A: A specific event happened one time. A tabletop issue is the result of more than one (usually) specific event. For example, the time when you got yelled at by the teacher in third grade is a specific event because you can start talking about it using the words “that time when…” If you hate confrontation, that’s a tabletop issue–and it might be because of that time you got yelled at by the teacher and all the times you got in trouble and maybe also all the times you heard your parents fighting plus that time you got beat up in high school for reporting vandalism you witnessed. A tabletop issue can be talked about using phrases like “I always” and “I never” or “it always” or “it never.”
People often get confused because something happened over and over. Take the example of hearing parents fight. “My parents were always fighting” is not a tabletop issue. The result of parents always fighting–such as “I’ve had anxiety for years”–is a tabletop issue. When tapping on the memory “my parents were always fighting,” you need to pick one time, one fight, to work on it as a specific event, even if that one time is a made-up amalgam representing all the times because you are unable to recall one specific memory. An example might be: “That time when I was in the kitchen doing the dishes and they started fighting behind me, yelling and screaming, and my mom said…”
–Naomi Janzen, Certified EFT Practitioner and Trainer
