Yet complaint, in essence, is saying that the universe made a mistake. It is the opposite of accepting everything just the way it is. Since we can’t change the way things are out there, complaining keeps us stuck in perpetual dissatisfaction. We can then blame our negative emotion on those imperfect conditions in the world, in ourselves, or in other people.
Complaining might seem like a harmless exercise, but in fact it shapes our brains for unhappiness. Every time you fire that neural bundle of negative emotion, you build new synaptic pathways. Those bundles become bigger and better at conducting information.
Complaint also saps your enthusiasm, positive emotion, optimism, happiness, and life energy. PB says that “if we could reject, and reject persistently, each unpleasant, unhappy, and spiritually untrue thought as it arises, we should indeed be happy” (Brunton, 1969b, p. 120).
Adyashanti, a modern nondualist teacher, echoes that sentiment. He observes that “Whatever you resist you become. If you resist anger, you are always angry. If you resist sadness, you are always sad. If you resist suffering, you are always suffering. If you resist confusion,you are always confused. We think that we resist certain states because they are there, but actually they are there because we resist them.”
Consider accepting things as they are and completely giving up complaining.
You’re likely to find certain trivial complaints easy to give up. You’ll find you’re very attached to other grievances. Question why, and challenge your thinking in your journal.
When you read the words of great Masters or observe the lives of adepts, you’ll find complete acceptance is the rule and complaint is rare. Andrew Vidich writes that to the lover:
“Every so-called obstacle appears to be another gift from the Beloved. The lover, as Meister Eckhart once said, includes all occurrences in his or her being, seeing them all as part of God’s being.
“For the lover experiencing this truth, whatever he or she pushes aside is exactly that part of himself or herself that must come under the eye of scrutiny. Carl Jung talks about how humans often thrust away the dark side of their nature, refusing to acknowledge or explore it. This is precisely the area, however, that can teach us the most.
“For the lover experiencing this truth, whatever is happening, both the seeming light and the seeming dark, is God’s gift. Whatever the lover excludes is that aspect of God that he or she has not integrated within” (Vidich, 2015, p. 106).
Andrew quotes a poem written by his Master, Darshan Singh (Vidich, 2015, p. 117):
I have borne all atrocities, all eccentricities, all
idiosyncrasies, all sorts of torture and
indifference, for the sake of my Beloved;
Yet I have never complained.
This is an example well worth following. For the next few days, notice any time you complain. Make notes about consistent patterns of complaint in your journal. If possible, catch yourself before you utter a habitual word of complaint. With practice, you’ll notice complaint while it’s a thought in your mind, before it becomes a word on your lips.
Sharing Your Experience : What do you complain about most often? Record just three items, e.g. my boss … the Wall Street fat cats … my teenage daughter … the weather … my weight … the corrupt politicians … and so on. Once you’ve recorded these three, click Mark Complete to be directed to the next Topic.