By Dr. Carol Solomon, Certified EFT Practitioner
My client Jean was morbidly obese and had been unable to lose weight for many years.
No matter what she tried, it would only last a short time before her eating got out of control again. Like many clients with persistent food and weight issues, Jean was holding onto old childhood hurts. She felt deprived as a child.
Her mother was emotionally needy, and her sister, "the beautiful one," got most of the attention. Jean only got attention for being "responsible."
What Jean didn't get from her family, she gave to herself. Jean didn't think that she could get love and attention from her family so she "settled" for food.
It didn't stop her from continuing to try to get her family's approval, even as an adult. Jean spent her entire life in search of the love and attention she didn't get from her family while hating herself for not being the one they gave it to. Jean's low self-esteem led to excessive pleasing behavior, in which she hid her true self while being unable to set limits.
I don't know anything that will create stress more quickly than saying "yes" to everything!
Hanging onto her excess weight became a symbol for the only kind of attention jean thought that she could get.
These patterns became obvious in one of my EFT sessions with her.
Even though I need to be needed, I deeply and completely accept myself.
Even though I need to show them how responsible I am, I deeply and completely accept myself.
Even though my fat gives me negative attention, and otherwise they ignore me, I deeply and completely accept myself anyway.
Even though I've spent my whole life breaking my back trying to please them, I deeply and completely accept myself.
At this point, Jean said her back started to hurt, so we tapped:
Even though they give me a backache, I deeply and completely accept myself.
The pain moved to her neck, so we tapped:
Even though they are a big pain in the neck, I deeply and completely accept myself.
Even though I can't accept that I'm not going to get the attention I want from them, I deeply and completely accept myself.
Even though I can't say no because they might think I'm not responsible, and that's all I have, I deeply and completely accept myself.
Even though I need to hang onto this fat to get attention, otherwise I'm invisible, I deeply and completely accept myself anyway.
Even though I'm still trying to prove myself, I approve of myself and I accept where I am in this process.
Jean's back and neck pain disappeared immediately. She tapped for a few minutes each day for about a month using a combination of these tapping statements. I encouraged her to make EFT tapping a daily practice. She is now steadily losing one to two pounds per week and she has stopped feeling "hungry" all of the time.
As a bonus, she no longer feels that she needs to say "yes" to every request and is feeling much happier.
Excerpt from the book, EFT for Weight Loss
By Dawson Church, PhD