Dear EFT Community,Marian Mills shares how she tapped through the tail-enders that were preventing her from being as effective as she could be using EFT to address her abundance issues.
– EFT Universe
By Marian Mills
I had watched EFT videos so I knew all about affirmations and tail-enders. I was even booked to give a talk at a local therapy center about it a year ago, but I cancelled at the last minute! Why? Because although I knew it, I didn’t really get it.
Working with an EFT coach helped me enormously when I started to focus on abundance issues at the beginning of this year. We had always had a variable income with my husband working short-term contracts and my EFT practice getting off the ground. As you might imagine, there often wasn’t enough coming in to meet all the necessary outgoings and Christmas had stretched us to the limit. So the most important thing to me was to get a steady income that provided for all the outgoings, just to stabilize things. I set up my affirmation: I easily, consistently, and joyfully bring in at least $9,000 per month.
Just saying it felt so uncomfortable, so I tinkered with it a bit. What made the biggest difference was changing the last part to receive at least $9,000 per month. This really helped me to get out of the worries of how it was going to happen. I tapped through a whole pile of tail-enders over the next days.
Even though I’d have to work so hard I’d never have time off for fun or family…
Even though I’d feel tired and drained all the time…
Even though I’d have to do something really boring…
Even though the math doesn’t add up for a therapy income…
Even though therapists just don’t earn good money — they get their rewards from seeing they’ve helped someone else…
Even though I’m playing a fool’s game here — taking silly risks to avoid doing what I know that I should do… (that one was definitely my father’s voice!)
At this point, saying the affirmation gave me a nice warm glow feeling and a few ideas about how it would feel safer and more secure with a regular income, but I couldn’t hold on to that feeling for more than a few seconds before the tail-enders came crashing back in and it faded away.
By this time I really needed my coach. as I would say I was into the more tricky blocks. I started to blank out at just thinking about the affirmation. I couldn’t think what to tap on — it felt like a complete shutdown inside. It even turned into a head cold, which gave me the idea that I was over-using my head at the time, so I sort of sat back from the problems and asked my coach for some help.
Tapping on “Even though I don’t have a clue what this blankness is about, I choose to send myself some nice insights” helped me to realize that the blank was a fear of doing something on my own. So I tapped on this.
Even though I don’t feel safe doing this on my own …
Even though I get better results working with someone else…
Even though I’m not enough on my own…
After this I came up with a beautiful image of how we’re all provided for and that by allowing my own abundance to flow, I would also be enriching those around me. Then came a tail-ender I didn’t spot for myself. What if saying “receive” rather than “bring in” meant that I wasn’t actually using my own efforts to attract the money? It felt somehow important to do it on my own, to prove something to myself, so how could I do that if he earned the money? So I tapped on all my beliefs about my self-worth.
Even though I am not defined by money and my bank balance doesn’t reflect my value as a person…
Even though I put my effort in to being who I am and that is just as deserving of reward as slogging away in an office all day long…
I made a few side affirmations which I pasted on my wall:
I can have fun and money flows easily to me.
I am worth $100,000 just for being me.
Just for today I focus on being myself.
Just for today I choose to relax, have fun, and enjoy life.
The next tail-ender to come up was what I called a biggie and I think many of us have this to some degree.
Even though I will have to acknowledge how powerful I really am if this works for me…
Even though I will no longer have any excuses not to do things…
Even though I’m so overwhelmed by it all…
Even though I’m afraid that I won’t be able to share my truth with others because I’ll have moved even further away from their reality…
Again, a helpful suggestion from my coach moved things on. He suggested I make a list of all the things I “should do” if I really were truly all-powerful! Well, that one blew me away for a while, so I continued tapping with all of those wonderful tail-enders.
Even though if I am truly ALL-POWERFUL, I should:
– use all my power and energy to do things for the benefit of everyone…
– work hard at it and never take time off for fun and relaxation…
– feel overwhelmed and guilty about not doing enough…
– take responsibility for all that is wrong in the world, whatever that may be…
– take uncomfortable risks and risk others’ disapproval and anger…
I realized that we all have all our power, but there are so many tail-enders that get in the way, that we are like a transformer, taking 240 volts of electricity power from the socket but only outputting 9 volts of power because of the reduction effect of all those tail-enders.
This was getting to be fun by this stage because I was getting to some real core issues — and moving through them at such a rate. I’ve never known anything like EFT for doing this so fast. Having a coach meant that I wasn’t spending so much time wandering around in my head feeling confused, or “zoned out” because I didn’t want to face it. I was also laughing a lot — at myself and my “ridiculous” beliefs. The one that made me almost fall over with laughter was when I tapped on:
Even though I’m sure it’s going to take me a long time to get to all of my tail-enders because there must be loads of them and they must be really deep and inaccessible…
Then I got the sense after that there was one more deep-seated issue to deal with. I didn’t know what it was and could just feel it like a lump in my chest. So I tapped, Even though I don’t know what this one is, I choose to keep my mind open for an answer to come anytime anyplace.
It was later the same day that someone mentioned a word that just echoed loudly in my mind: “Inadequacy.” So I had my answer. I haven’t completely resolved inadequacy, but I have definitely been able to accept it better after some tapping and that seemed to clear the last block.
Two days later, my husband accepted a full-time job, and asked for more money than was originally offered, which, when annualized and tax has been deducted comes to — you guessed it, the exact amount I’d been tapping for per month! I had no input into the amount that he got — even he didn’t know what I was really tapping for. AND it’s a job that he really loves. EFT had a part to play in that too, as he had used it to finally overcome his redundancy of 10 years ago.
In case anyone thinks this took a long time, actually it was only 2 weeks! I wouldn’t want you to think that I was abandoning my husband and children, staying up all night just to tap, or anything weird like that — I just tapped a few times a day and was persistent in tracking down the tail-enders. Having someone to help me see the ones I couldn’t see was so beneficial, and I’d recommend this to anyone. Go get a coach! Preferably someone who’s actually done it for themselves rather than someone who just “knows” it.
I would like to mention that I seemed to go through a period of grieving after this success. It was good to let go of all this emotional baggage though and I felt so much lighter. Yes, I have the money I wanted, but I also have so much more happiness, joy, understanding and, most of all, love and acceptance of myself. I’m now off to explore some of the other rooms and I hope this palace is limitless.
Thank you to EFT for a wonderful way to make life happen in the way you want it to be. Now I think I know it and I’ve got it — I’m living it every day, which is the really big difference.
