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14 Steps Using EFT to Stop Obsessive Worry

14 Steps Using EFT to Stop Obsessive Worry

By J. Hainsworth

I’ve been trying to break my worry-pattern for years and while it has improved a lot, I knew that I still had more work to do.

I started thinking about recent events that resulted in “writing on my walls” (key messages we took on in our past that dictate how we behave now) triggers around extreme worrying. I came up with the following list. (Note: The items on the list are of course based on my own perception as I grew up, and may bear little resemblance to reality in some cases. When we are working with healing, it’s our perceptions that matter, not what was in actual fact the case):

– My mother was worried that some medication she took while pregnant with me would affect me.

– My mother was quite isolated during the pregnancy and my early years, and had a lot of worries.

– As a first time Mum, my mother was probably worried about the birth.

– I was born two weeks late and there may have been a link with that and being worried about the birth.

– I was born very stressed and malnourished with the umbilical cord wrapped three times around my neck.

– I was taught by my mother’s actions that the natural first response to anything upsetting was to worry.

I also made a list of conclusions I had drawn about worry as a result of my upbringing and came up with:

– I considered my parents to be very responsible people.

– My parents first response to any uncertainty was to worry.

– Therefore “Responsible people worry, that’s what they do.”

I then used another method I sometimes use to flush out additional writing on the walls–thinking about how a person without your writing on the walls handles a similar situation. This led to me thinking about how my partner was handling the same situation, and flushed out the writing on the walls that:

It’s irresponsible not to worry!

While intellectually I was appalled at my conclusion, emotionally I was convinced that I was in the right and my partner was indeed being completely irresponsible trusting that it would all work out in the end!

I decided to combine the tapping and the setup phrases with the 9 Gamut Procedure very slowly for each trauma, something else I have been experimenting with and finding very powerful. Sometimes I type up the starting statements that I am going to tap on, in order to allow myself to just “follow along” instead of having to think up the words as I’m tapping.

These are my steps:

1. Start by tapping on the top of the head and talking to the baby and young child inside of me to let them know what I would be doing, and thanking the parts of me who have been keeping me worrying to ensure that I’m a responsible person. (To start with acceptance and make sure all parts of me realised this was a team thing, rather than something I was trying to “get rid of.”)

2. Use the tapping statement: Even though this baby was bathed in worry while in the womb, from when her Mom was worried about the effect on her of the medication she was taking for a short time, from all the things her Mom worried about while pregnant with her, I now deeply and profoundly love and accept and heal this baby.

3. Use the 9 Gamut process for worry going on while I was in the womb.

4. Tap through all points with the phrase: I now deeply and completely HEAL this baby of all effects of worry sustained while in the womb.

5. Then I tap: Even though this baby was affected by all her Mum’s worries leading up to, during and after the birth, and was so worried about being born that she was two weeks late, I now deeply and profoundly love and accept and heal this baby. (Rambling through the tapping points including statements like “born into worry and stress”).

6. Use the 9 Gamut Procedure for worry about being born and associating life with worry because I was born into worry and stress.

7. Tap through all the points with the phrase: I now deeply and completely HEAL this baby of all the effects of worry sustained leading up to, during and after her birth.

8. Tap on: Even though this child was taught to worry and not to trust, I now deeply and profoundly love and encourage this child to trust (+ rambling through points).

9. Use the 9 Gamut process for being taught to worry as first response.

10. Tap through all the points with: I now deeply and completely HEAL this baby of all effects of being taught to worry as the first response to anything upsetting and let her know that it’s safe to trust.

11. Tap on:  Even though this child was taught that it is responsible to worry, I now deeply and profoundly love and encourage this child to know that trusting in the responsible choice. (+ Rambling through points).

12. Tap through all the points with: I now deeply and completely HEAL this baby and this little girl of all the effects of being taught to worry as the first response to anything upsetting and let her know that the responsible choice is to trust.

13. Tap on: Even though as a baby and a child I was taught that responsible people worry, I now choose to know that the responsible choice is to trust. (Tapped this with three rounds: 1 – Taught that responsible people worry, 2 – The responsible choice is to trust, 3 – Alternating the two).

14. Use the 9 Gamut process for all remaining effects of being taught to worry.

As I tapped the following additional things came to mind which I addressed as they came up:

– My mother was my protector and her response to anything upsetting was to worry, so I associated worry with protection. There was writing on my wall that said that the best way to protect myself from something was to worry.

– There was a part of me that felt it was not safe to stop worrying – I had pain all up the back of my neck that I needed to tap on before I could continue. I was born into worry and had a belief that you are only really alive if you are worrying about something.

– I realised that the writing on the walls was more specific than I had first thought, and it was that the natural response to uncertainty was to worry.

I cleared a lot of writing from my walls that I didn’t even know existed. Since then I have had an number of occasions where I would normally have worried, which haven’t resulted in any worrying by me at all. I was also totally at peace with the situation that had caused so much worry that my chest had been tight, and surprise, surprise, with tapping, it resolved itself the following day.