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Woman Puts Her Pain in a Box and Throws it Away

Woman Puts Her Pain in a Box and Throws It Away

by Beatrice Dogor Di Nuzzo

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Dear EFT Community,

EFT Practitioner Beatrice Dogor Di Nuzzo shares a story about a friend who was feeling very sad and overwhelmed but didn’t know why. She had never done tapping before but agreed to give it a try when Beatrice suggested it. You’ll be amazed at what she discovers is behind her pain.

– EFT Universe

My friend, a 45 year-old French woman, had been feeling sad and overwhelmed. I suggested she try EFT to see if it would help. 

The session starts with her crying and feeling even more overwhelmed. She does not know exactly what it is about — she cannot connect with a specific event. She feels it in the bottom her throat, like it’s “poisoning her.” SUD: 8

Chasing the pain:

I decide to work with this gentle technique first as she cannot connect to any specific event.
Sadness, SUD: 7-3
Feeling in the throat, SUD: 7-3
It’s dark, it stings, it’s itchy.

Breathing meditation

Talk and tap:

We tap on the collarbone to understand the issue.

I need to make her connect to a specific event or at least to make her understand why those feelings are there, and so I explain a bit more about EFT; that emotions are encapsulated into some parts of our body to protect us. That it is good to let go of those undesired emotions which create tensions in our body and mind, and makes us feel down. But for that we have to dig and find specific events.

What is making you feel poisoned?
What is related to that feeling in your throat? This sadness?

Full basic recipe with 9 Gamut:

She speaks about some issues with people using their power in the wrong direction.
Abuse of power: 9-2

We decide to tap on one of the recent events with her employer when she felt that unfairness the most. Releasing all the visual and auditory aspects.

Feeling of unfairness, SUD: 10-2 (back in the throat and in the chest)
Sadness: 7 (wanting to cry) – 0

Is there another time when you felt that unfairness?

“Yes, I remember when I was at Freinet school.”

How old were you?

“Eight”

Feeling of unfairness, SUD: 9-2
Sadness, SUD: 9-0 (feeling joy instead)
Lost, SUD: 11-2
Rejected, SUD: 11-3
Loneliness: 10-2

Emotions felt all over her body, no specific parts. Tuning in she feels it in her chest and heart.

Full basic recipe did not seem appropriate as there were too many aspects to her childhood story/trauma.

Tell the story:

She speaks about that event like it is a story, so I naturally suggest the Tell the Story technique, and ask her about all aspects at each emotional stage pic.

The Tittle: « Au théâtre de l’école Freinet »(at the theatre of Freinet’s school).
SUD: 8-2

I ask her to focus just on the title, not to think about the rest of the story, just the title for the moment.

Even though I have this title: “at the theatre of Freinet’s school,” which is so intense, like an 8 on a scale from 0 to 10. I deeply and completely accept the way I feel right here, right now.

First emotional crescendo:

Now think about a neutral point before the story begins, and start narrowing until you feel strong emotions again.
In the car (visual aspect)… Let Catherine (his daughter) talk (auditory aspect). Asking her to shut her mouth.
Unfairness in throat, SUD: 7-1

Second emotional crescendo:

Back to the neutral point and start again telling the whole story until she feels a charge again.

I can hear him say “You are a pest” (Auditory aspect felt in the heart as a 7)… just because I wanted to speak about my day too.
Stings in the heart: 7-0
Shift (huge blow): “in fact it was him, the weak one, not me.”

Third emotional crescendo:

Back to the neutral point and start again telling me the whole story until you feel another emotional charge.
… I am in this arena (lapsus) -oops this theatre, sorry, and they are here to judge me. I collapse. I fall on the floor as frozen in front of everybody.

I felt so lonely: SUD: 8-1

Fourth emotional crescendo:

Back to the neutral point and start again telling me the whole story until you feel another emotional charge.
“He got scared seeing me on the floor.”

In fact, this was not charged anymore, she just shifted straight away : “I am so glad I pushed him away, I did not want his help, (she started to smile.)

I ask her to tell me the whole story again from the neutral point to make sure there are no emotional charge anymore.
No charge! She smiles.

She even talks about this event in past tense. Like “I can remember it was disgusting to see her pretending to cry, but I don’t feel it anymore.” (she was using the present before)

Tell me how you feel right now.

“I have another event coming up.”

We’ll take care of it during another session. Let’s focus on this one to finish and release completely everything.

How do you feel now?

After one hour and 25 minutes…

UNEXPECTED EMOTION AT THE VERY END:

There, she states: “I feel fear right now.”

Where do you feel that fear in your body?

“In my hands”

Is it related to the event?

“I’m not sure. Yes, may be to when I collapsed and felt on my hands?”

How strong is that fear?
7- 5-2

No shape, no color, no sound.

Basic recipe and pre-framing:

One round on the new feeling/ sensation with finger tips and Gamut point.

Then, I did not know what to do with this new emotion. I asked her: What would you like to feel instead of this fear.
“Joy.”

“Even though, I have this remaining fear in my hands from when I collapsed and felt on my hands, and I would love to transform that fear into joy, I accept the way my body is speaking to me right now and I love and accept myself.

“Even though, I feel this emotion: fear, I ask my body to release it to all the way it came from and I love and accept the way I feel.”

“Even though, I now have some fear around that event, I wish I could transform it into joy and I love and accept myself.”

How do you feel? (I was myself anxious to hear the answer)

“So good. I feel “yellow” like the sun, like a sunflower, like joy.”

Pointed questions + vivid imagination:

Just to make “even more sure” I checked every sensory aspect with pointed questions, like:

”You said it was disgusting to see her pretending to cry” (Visual + kinesthetic aspect). It was an 8-0. No change! I also asked her (speaking loud) to try to hear again: “You are a pest.”

Answer / Shift: “I really think I created some space in my body, in my heart. I don’t know how to explain. I am exhausted but I feel so free you could not imagine….”

“I now have other events coming up.” We’ll use them in another session.

Sneaking away, reframing and boxing:

All SUDS under 3, I knew reframing was enough, but as she had some low remaining emotions, and she said she wanted to dig into “the abuse of power” and the unfairness on another subject another time, I thought it could be a good idea to propose boxing.

She put it in a nice little black box and threw it away to never see it again.