By B. Moore
My mother is almost 80-years-old and has suffered, for years, with chronic knee pain. We were beginning to get used to the idea of her condition being permanent. And as a very independent person she has, until recently, resisted any helping hands.
3 months ago, I assisted her to climb down a set of stairs at a hotel. She cried in pain even before she reached the top step. And she twisted and turned, to find the easiest way to go down.
Her one shoulder was raised by about 3 inches and her spine had twisted to accommodate her “favoring” of one leg over the other.
Something else that bothered us, was her continuous apologies for anything and everything.
“I am sorry that I am in the way, I am sorry that I ate before you, I am sorry that I asked for help.”
She was almost apologizing for living and nothing we did, could stop it. We felt that she had given up on life and was setting herself up to die.
You should see and experience her now! What a wonderful transformation. And it only took 3 separate half-hour EFT sessions.
I had completed the 2 EFT certificate courses, worked with numerous clients and watched numerous wonderful EFT DVDs when I asked her if she would like to try EFT for her knee pain. I told her that I was not sure if she would get any relief, but it was worth a try. She agreed.
She whimpered in pain, as she came into the room and sat down. I asked her what the level of pain was. And she gave me a 10, unless there was anything higher!
Initially she could not think of any emotional reason behind the pain, so we tapped for the pain itself. It was in the front of the knee and after 4 rounds the pain dropped in intensity, to a zero. Then it began to move to other places, around the knee. To the sides. To the back, below, underneath.
So we chased the pain.
Each time we tapped for the new pain and each time it zeroed out and moved again. After a while it gave up and the pain was gone.
She was pleasantly surprised and then mentioned a “clicking” with an intensity of 6-7. We tapped and got that down to a 1-2.
I asked her to walk a little, and she was moving fairly freely.
Our next step was to get her to attempt one step down a set of stairs. She assured me that she would be careful not to hurt, or endanger herself and set off. As she neared the step, she began to softly squeal and grunt – in preparation for the anticipated pain.
I called her back and worked with her fear of the pain. The intensity level was 10 and this was soon zero.
Back to the stairs she went. This time she took a step down, without support or pain. Her muscles though were not used to the style of stepping and this improved as time went by.
I noticed that the knee that she favored was not the one that had been sore. We worked with the reasons behind that. And she stepped down more easily. It was stunning to see the peace and freedom in her face. The light and spark was coming back.
Two days later she came back. Her knee was sore again. She again apologized for taking my time during business hours! I smiled and invited her in.
This time I asked what the emotional reason was behind her pain, and she related a story of how she had not listened to her mom, 62 years previously, when she told her not to carry a heavy mattress. As she went down the stairs she fell and dislocated her knee. The pain intensity was a 6-7.
Even though I never listened to my mom, I completely love and accept myself. And forgive myself for any pain I caused her and myself.”
It went to a 3.
She then said,
“And I betrayed her. I never called her to help me, I called my father instead.”
A new aspect!
We tapped —
“Even though I betrayed my mom by calling for my dad instead of her …”
The pain went to zero.
She tried the step again and it was easier than the first times.
“She again apologized for taking my time, and I knew that she and I still had some work to do.”
The next day she apologized her way back into the office.
The pain wasn’t as intense – 4-5. I then asked her what the emotional reason was behind her apologies. And she looked at me as though she wasn’t sure if she could talk to her son about it.
Then she said, I had 3 mis-carriages and lost your brother at 6 weeks. I was a good Roman Catholic and had 8 pregnancies, in as many years. Only 4 of you made it, and then your sister died at 33. I guess I blamed myself.” She said it as if she had hardened her heart to her pain.
We began to tap, on this part of her life, and I was blessed to go on this journey with my mom. So few of us men have any idea of the pain that so many woman endure.
We checked for intensity – on each lost child her intensity level was intense. We tapped for the first and second miscarriage and brought her deep sadness to zero. We tapped for guilt. We tapped for anger. And then she opened up and the tears began to well in her eyes.
I had never seen my mom cry before.
“When I lost the 3rd child, the nurse asked me if I wanted to see the fetus and I said, ‘Yes.’ She brought this tiny baby to me, in a bedpan. It was no bigger than my fist, and she told me that it was a girl. My first daughter.”
She began to sob and so did I.
“I should never had said, ‘Yes.'”
I waited until we had calmed down. And asked her to tap with me, she couldn’t speak. I spoke to her – using love, acceptance and forgiveness in the setup statement,
“Even though I should never have agreed to see my daughter, I completely love and accept myself and forgive myself for anything that I may done to cause this pain.”
As she described the fetus and the events of that day 55 years ago, we tapped with her specific words and descriptions.
She described the lack of support from family and medical professionals in the small mining areas of Northern Rhodesia (now Zambia.) The lack of support from her local priest and the church itself. We tapped for each of those.
Fearful that I would raise her emotional intensity, I asked her to use the movie technique, to assess her level of emotion, relating to the loss of her “daughter.”
“Nothing now, it is gone!” she said, with a beautiful smile.
I asked her to try and raise the intensity…
“No there is nothing.” I asked her about the other children that had passed on. “All clear, it is almost like it happened to someone else.”
My final question was about the pain in her knee. It too was clear.
My mom now goes up and down stairs with little or no help. She is walking straight and has begun a diet and exercise program. She swims every two days and is looking healthier than she did 20 years ago.
Her brain is sharp, her life has spark AND she does not apologize for anything and everything. She is alive and enjoying every second of it.