Dear EFT Community,
EFT Master Patricia Carrington shares her exercise for using EFT for loneliness, where instead of filling up these painful and restless moments with needless activity like eating while watching television, you spend time seeing your world with renewed childlike wonder and learn to enjoy solitude.
– EFT Universe
By Patricia Carrington, PhD, EFT Master
It is unfortunate that loneliness impacts so many lives today, and that more and more people seek to escape from these feelings at any cost. Trying to escape from the feelings of loneliness is why many people sit transfixed before a television set for such long hours each day–the television is being asked to supply the suspense of living, secondhand, while seeming to keep them company.
We need to ask why we have lost the ability to feel pleasure in the uniqueness of each single moment–that original excitement that young children feel at the adventure that each new day could bring.
We could speculate that it is largely due to the school systems of today which impose conformity and restriction of thinking and action, rather than encouraging innovativeness and exploration.
It is obvious that most parents, having had it drilled into them that they “must” do this or that (in other words, that life is an unending series of “shoulds”) have lost the spontaneity that they themselves had as young children, so that they impart a grimly restricted view of life to their children in turn, a point of view they cannot help but transfer.
Since this is clearly a major societal problem, how then can we handle it by using EFT? And is this even possible?
The answer is yes, it is. We can use EFT in a profoundly effective manner to bring back our original childlike enthusiasm and excitement in living, and I am going to suggest several EFT exercises that can offset the deadening effects of our addictive culture.
The first exercise involves taking a few moments of your day to pretend that you have absolutely no predetermined tasks to perform, none whatsoever. You are, in your imagination, free at that moment!
If you do not happen to live where you can be close to nature (which is a great reminder of adventure) but live in a mechanically and electronically dominated place or are indoors a lot, if you look around at your surroundings, you will see some, perhaps a lot of evidence of past activities that you have not quite cleared up.
In fact, much of your surroundings will probably be in a state of some disarray. Strange as it may seem, the task of “straightening things up” and bringing them back into a pleasing order can become an adventure in itself, if you use EFT to bring this about.
Let’s imagine that you’re in front of a desk where there is an array of scattered papers, and each seems to shout at you with its own urgent message, “Do something with me!” Or you could be looking at a kitchen counter piled high with unwashed dishes that calls out, “I own you!. You are obligated to clean me up!”
In fact, you could be in any place where unfinished tasks pull at you so powerfully that to remain sane and balanced you are obliged to physically or mentally escape from them.
In this first exercise, you will pick up, seemingly at random, some objects such as documents on your desk.
As you hold each object in your hands, look at it and do one round of EFT, using the statement:
“Even though I feel lonely, I choose to see this object as though I were a baby unable to understand it while I deeply and completely accept myself.”
Then tap on each of the EFT spots using the phrase:
“As though I were a baby unable to understand it.”
As you do this, you may notice for the first time that the object has a certain lively design. It may have a strange and compelling outline, like a modern abstract painting with a startling design. Above all, as you look at it after tapping on that phrase, you may sense that it actually contains energy.
In fact, it probably bristles with energy.
Now I suggest that you try another EFT exercise.
Looking over at the disarray, and respecting the energy invested in each separate piece of paper, or dish in the kitchen, or whatever the object happens to be, tap using the following EFT statement
“Even though there are many different energies here, I choose to allow each energy to direct me where to place it, or how to treat it right now in the most appropriate manner.”
Do one whole round of tapping on this statement, and then reach out to perform your routine task of straightening up, washing, cleaning or otherwise bringing order to your environment. You may well find that this has now become an intriguing joint enterprise between you and the “energies” of these objects.
Sometimes it almost seems like a dance. Now, if you pile them in a certain way it is no longer you imposing your order upon these things, but it is you and the world interacting, with respect and excitement.
As you pick up the scotch tape dispenser, for example, mentally tap on:
“I respect your role. I respect your role.”
As you pick up another object, tap saying,
“I respect your role.I respect your role.”
As you pick up the pot with the burnt pie crust in it from the night before you can tap on:
“I respect your role. I respect your role.”
When you do this, you will discover that, strangely, you are not alone anymore. You are interacting with other energies that paying attention in the “now” of the moment brings, and by respecting them, your day now becomes filled with endless surprises and gifts.
You are moving away from the “Have to’s” that our organized society imposes upon us and toward the “Want to’s.” You will find that the boredom-loneliness combination, that dreaded specter of modern society, will dissolve as you return, even in the midst of the most electronic environment, to a natural interaction with all that is around you.
When you have finished straightening up a certain area of your life —— a particular room, a certain counter top, or whatever it may be —— follow this by one round of EFT in which you tap in the positive by saying to the entire room:
“I respect your roles… I respect your roles… (using the plural).”
If you do this exercise every time you feel bored, or repeatedly many times throughout your day, your day will take on the quality of an adventure, and you will never be alone.
You will also know that you don’t know all the answers, as you become receptive to the wise answers that are “conveyed” to you by your surroundings.
This exercise allows you to be the vibrant human being that you are. Essentially, it is an exercise in happiness.
6 Steps for EFT Tapping on Loneliness
1. Remove yourself from any demands upon you. Let the outside world take care of itself for a few moments.
2. Notice any tasks demanding your attention, or any disarray in your surroundings.
3. Pick up each object within reach in turn and mentally, or physically with one hand, tap while repeating the phrase: “I respect your role. I respect your role.”
4. Finish by doing one round of EFT that addresses the entire room (desk, counter, etc.), while repeating “I respect your role. I respect your role.”
5. Notice how the objects, and the task, feel to you now. Do they need to be handled differently? Do you still feel alone?
6. If there has been no change in your attitude, try another round of EFT, or search for your inner blocks to receiving the gift that this exercise has to offer, and tap on those blocks!
Know that no matter what your mind might be telling you about yourself and being lonely, know that you matter in this world and it only takes one day for everything to change for the better.
Use the lonely moments to accept the fact that you feel lonely and use the time to explore other ways of looking at your life. Explore things you loved to do as a child and see if you can’t bring some of that magic back into your life.
Hang Christmas lights across your kitchen. Have a picnic on your living room floor.
Adopt a stray animal. Volunteer at a food bank. And know that your place in this world matters . . . because you do.