By C. Miller
When working with clients who grew up with a physically or emotionally absent mother, I work to access their wounded “inner child.” I successfully use EFT tapping to release painful emotions of “Little Patty,” “Little Lisa,” or “Little Peter,” etc.
For example, “Little Lisa”, about 4-years-old, is sitting in the middle of a playground. She is sad and desperately lonesome. “Little Patty” is trapped in the garage, immobilized by fear. “Little Peter” is hiding in his bedroom and is refusing to come out, ever.
The world is crowded with lonesome, fearful, and hurt “inner children.” When I work with clients who have “Missing Mother Syndrome” (often the fathers are “missing”, too) they often reveal how they were unappreciated, abandoned, or abused in their young childhood.
EFT tapping can make a real difference in healing a broken inner child walking around inside an adult.
In order to get to the core issues quickly, I usually have my clients meet with their inner child using guided imagery. Then the client does not think about sadness, shame, abandonment, or fear, but has direct access to these emotions. And emotional it is. Almost everybody comes up with a very specific, often heartbreaking, image of the hurt little girl or boy within.
The intense emotions are an excellent starting point for EFT.
We repeatedly work through a whole range of emotions and bodily sensations that present themselves in a vivid, powerful way, until they subside, or change. Sometimes the inner child has a specific name, and then we use that name.
6 EFT Tapping Statement Examples to Help Heal Your Inner Child:
Even though Little Lisa is sad and lonesome because nobody wants to play with her, I deeply and completely love her.
Even though Little Patty is scared to death of the garage, I deeply and completely believe in her and she is safe.
Even though Little Alexandra does not want to leave her bedroom because nobody cares about how she feels anyway, I deeply and completely love her.
Even though Little Sam has this horror of being locked in a car stuck in his throat, I deeply and completely believe in him and he is safe.
Even though Little Shannon wants to throw up because her stepfather does not want her around, I deeply and completely love her and want her to be with me.
Even though Little Dale’s broken heart burns like hell, I deeply and completely accept him as he is.
Often real memories pop up when we tap on the inner child. When my client, “Alexandra” met her inner child, she saw a little girl hiding in her bedroom, full of dread and fear. The most intense feeling was “being worthless.” She reported tension in her chest and stomach. Her SUD Level of intensity number between 0-10 was at a 7. Immediately, a memory popped up from when she was about 6-years-old. She was having dinner at her grandparents. When she tipped her plate and spilled her food, her mother scolded her, “Can’t you do anything right?!” She was embarassed and hurt and no one spoke up for her.
Several rounds of tapping brought the feeling of being worthless to a SUD Level of 0 to 1 out of 10. We then moved to other memories with the theme “worthlessness.”
After tapping on the feelings of an inner child and working with real memories that come up, I always ask how the little one is feeling now. More often than not, their whole inner scenery has changed. The adult person is hugging and comforting the child, and they discuss ideas to change the situation. It was a huge relief for “Little Alexandra” when she finally opened the door and left the bedroom she had been hiding in for a very long time.
Although there still might be some feelings of hurt and abandonment, the inner child usually starts to play, once the adult made the connection.
No longer is it merely painful to visit this archetype, but it is also perceived as a source of joy and wonder. The most rewarding moment for me comes when somebody discovers that their inner child is not weak and powerless, but a strong and courageous little person that did the best she or he could to survive in their environment.
EFT tapping can be their Superhero when it comes to rescuing their inner child!