By Maureen Cram, MBA, EFT INT-3, Matrix Reimprinting
I have a client in Israel, whom I have only ‘met’ via Skype, who suffered from hot flushes (hot flashes) for many months.
She had tried Chinese medicine, six months of intensive dieting, acupuncture and various formulas without seeing any change.
She was getting a flush every hour during the day and then four or five times at night she would wake up totally drenched in sweat.
Her family history included a mother who had and still has severe hot flushes and a grandmother who still has them. “You should be grateful it’s nothing worse!” was a comment from her mother.
We started tapping:
Even though I have these hot flushes, I deeply and completely accept myself, but what if I didn’t?
Even though I am not my mother, or my grandmother, I don’t need these hot flushes to remind me of my age.
Even though I have these hot flushes all the time, I deeply and completely accept myself and it is safe to let them go.
Oh no, not safe at all according to my client. This led us to “the world being a dangerous place” (more mother voices coming in) and even though there was no ‘logical’ connection to the hot flushes and being safe in the world we did several tapping rounds.
Even though part of me thinks the world is not a safe place for me, and I am not God and can’t change the world, I deeply and completely accept myself and I can decide how I feel on a daily basis right now.
We also worked through some issues she had relating to her childhood where she had to be ‘perfect.’ She still had to be perfect.
For whom do you have to be perfect?
For my mother so she won’t be worried about me.
For my brother.
What will happen if you are not perfect for your (elder) brother?
He will beat me up.
I was not sure if this is happening (as we are using the present tense here and not the past tense) now or related to the younger her.
She laughed when I asked and said no, that it was the younger her. So we tapped on everything around that (we have previously tapped on her childhood issues with her brother which were many and deep and emotional).
We finished the session there and booked another one for a few days later. She sent me a message the next day saying the flushes were a bit better but still there.
I sent her some EFT set up statements to do that night:
Even though it seems the tapping I did yesterday hasn’t worked as I want it to yet, I deeply and completely accept myself and my body, just as it is right now.
Even though I can hear my mother’s voice telling me there is nothing I can do about this, I am going to work through this anyway.
Even though my mother’s voice says I should accept these hot flushes because things could be worse, what if they were better right now?
I am not my mother
I can break this chain of generations
I am not my mother or my grandmother
I have choices
My body does its best for me
I can let go of the hot flushes right now. I deserve to let them go. I have no need to hold on to them any longer – they are free to leave right now.
At the next session the flushes were less, but not gone completely yet. So we went back to the flushes. Why do you have to have them? If they take up so much of your time what are they stopping you from doing?
Another light bulb moment!
She wanted to change careers, but focusing on the hot flushes and then thinking of her age (50) was helping her belief that it was too late to change. She didn’t have experience in this new career and what if she failed? Her mother would tell her she was wrong to try something new. She felt she stay with the secure job.
As we tapped on all of this, she stopped tapping and said, “I hear my mother’s voice again! This is ridiculous, how can this be relevant?” (Big clue here – whenever someone says this can’t be it, focus on that!)
My mother is saying I earned these hot flushes, after all the years of doing for others. These are a badge that I earned, so now I have to experience them.
More tapping on “I am not my mother!” in a louder and louder voice.
I don’t need these hot flushes to remind me of my age. Maybe I earned them but I have had enough of them! They are free to go right now!
We did more tapping around this and feeling safe for them to leave now. They had done their job of reminding her of her age, but she didn’t need them any longer.
In our next session the hot flushes were less so we worked on self-confidence issues surrounding the career change. A day or two later she contacted me to say, “We won! No more hot flushes – all gone!”
She is still working on her career change issues and making great progress–free from the hourly hot flushes!